I see glimpses and flashes of what used to be.
Bits and pieces from my fragmented memory.
They call out to me, clawing at my subconscious,
Whispering sweet nothings in my ears,
Threatening to shatter, undo the resolve in me.
I’m left crippled, exhausted, as I struggle to break free.
What am I trying to break free from? What is it that I fear?
Is that a monster that lurks in the darkness, it’s taunts I can hear!
I’m too scared to breathe now, too frightened to look the other way…
Too frail, too weak now, to even think about running away.
Slowly the mocks turn into childish giggles; laughter is heard loud and clear.
And just like that I’m left breathless, panting and gasping, I plead for air.
As I gather my wits and steel myself, daring to face my fears…
Emotions overwhelm me, running down my cheeks in tears.
But where’s the demon that chills my bones? Where’s that shriek that unnerves me?
Where’s the face that haunts my dreams? It’s only a child, so young and wee!
She laughs and claps and runs around, her playful gaze pitiying me.
I look hard, blink and look again. Is this the monster – the beast I used to see?
And in that moment, it all gets clear. Reality hits me hard.
I face the child and she smiles at me. The truth I can no longer disregard.
Who is she? Who but me! The me from yesteryear…
The me from when sorrow was rare, when peace was near and dear.
She is the me from when life was good, courage and innocence valued,
She is the me from before I grew up, got disheartened, hurt and rude.
I stare and stare and cry, for now and mourn the shadow that once was me.
As the monster, I and me face each other, I see flashes of what life used to be…